I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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