Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
