Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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