And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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