I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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