I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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