I'm gonna have a badass scar
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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