Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
