At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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