why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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