She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
