we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
