she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All I want is dick and wine.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
