i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
