you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
