My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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