6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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