Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
