Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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