Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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