omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we're so committed to being not committed
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
