i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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