i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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