Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
