This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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