Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
