You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
