Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
