Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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