Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
