just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
