I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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