I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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