Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
