Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
