..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
