Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
