Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
