oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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