Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize