My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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