Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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