Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
