i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
