You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
