guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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