can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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