tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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