Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
