What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
