he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She needs sedatives and a leash
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
