Do you still have your period?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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