All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
