Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
