I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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