she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
