She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
