No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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