and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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