I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
