Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
