I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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