Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
