He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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