so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
