she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
