I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
