This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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