Me too!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
