she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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