No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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