finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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