Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
