At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize