You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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