doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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