Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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