Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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