I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
