the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
