Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
